The Weight of Love

On this Good Friday, the weight of Love brings me to tears.

I ponder, and countless of Christians before me have pondered, what love caused God to send His only, beloved Son (who He is one with) to be clothed in the ragged flesh of man, to die a cursed death on the cross. Oh, and what do we behold as we look upon the cross? We see "sorrow and love flow mingled down." Often as we ponder on the cross we look back to ourselves and what Christ has done for us, how we are justified and forgiven. And this is beautiful, breathtaking, wonderful.

However, let us ponder Christ on that tree:

O LORD, God of my salvation; I cry out day and night before you. Let my prayer come before you; incline your ear to my cry! For my soul is full of troubles and my life draws near to Sheol. I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am a man who has no strength, like one set loose among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, like those whom you remember no more, for they are cut off from your hand. You have put me in the depths of the pit, in the regions dark and deep. Your wrath lies heavy upon me, and you overwhelm me with all your waves. You have caused my companions to shun me; you have made me a horror to them. I am shut in so that I cannot escape; my eye grows dim through sorrow. Every day I call upon you, O LORD; I spread out my hands to you. Do you work wonders for the dead? Do the departed rise up to praise you? Is your steadfast love declared in the grave, or your faithfulness in Abaddon? Are your wonders known in the darkness, or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? But I, O LORD, cry to you; in the morning my prayer comes before you. O LORD, why do you cast my soul away? Why do you hide your face from me? Afflicted and close to death from my youth up, I suffer your terrors; I am helpless. Your wrath has swept over me; your dreadful assaults destroy me. They surround me like a flood all day long; they close in on me together. You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness. (Psalm 88)

Have we ever pondered what Christ the blameless, faithful King who humbled himself felt as all my sins and all your sins lay on him? Flowing through his veins was every bitter word, thought, and action, every evil intent. All the black sin in our hearts turned his red life blood black in death. God put our sins onto Him, in His perfect justice and love and mercy, all mingled together.

The weight of Love is much too great for me. It brings me to tears. And yet, I do not even remotely feel the full weight of love. For I cannot comprehend what it was for God to turn His back on Himself, or for the Holy One to bear sin, or for God to die for me, for you, for all His children--the weight is too much for me to hold. Even nature itself could not hold it in. As its Creator died, the sun and moon and stars refused to shine.

All I know, is that the cross, that weight of Love too great for me, is where God took my sins away and made me blameless in front of Himself. The power of the Cross is God's gift which grabbed my heart of stone and tore it out of my lifeless body and gave me a heart of flesh. And because of this heart of flesh I can be brought to tears by the weight of Love.

Today, as I ponder Good Friday, I have nothing to give but my half-croaked thank you: "thank you my Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Father" escapes in a gasp from my heart.